You've got a guy on the side, I've got a daily routine,
We're eatin' spicy poutine, I owe you 25 bucks,
This function's not enough, I need my uselessness,
Hell, this is so half-assed, just turn the other cheek,
I stare for hours at a screen, I hit the town in a dress,
My brain's a fucking mess, I'm not a psychopath,
Just reading Sylvia Plath, and waiting for my man,
Fighting the sexual urge, I've got an addict's eyes,
This is the campus life, don't trust that Honest Ed,
I've got this 2-for-1 bread, let's all go TO THE LIGHTHOUSE,
Jeffrey with more than one "F", you're no philosopher
And when things fall apart, your logic will be first,
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